De-Grumping Marketing: A Teacher's Mindset for Small Business Success: A Guest Blog from Yat-Yee Chong

This is the last week of guest blog posts, and I am so grateful to have a network of business owners who also really enjoy writing. My guest this week is Yat-Yee Chong of Axon Martial Arts, now you might be wondering what does a martial arts instructor have to say about marketing. She shares how her decades of experience as a teacher have transformed her approach to sales and marketing for her small business, Axon Martial Arts Academy. Frustrated by the noisy, overwhelming world of modern business promotion, she discovered a powerful solution: applying her teaching principles to marketing.

Yat-Yee reveals two key insights that have reshaped her entrepreneurial mindset: facilitating discovery and earning trust. Instead of viewing marketing as a separate, energy-draining task, she now sees it as an extension of her core teaching mission. She approaches sales with the same care, patience, and intentionality she brings to her classroom – filtering information, creating meaningful connections, and prioritizing authentic communication over quick wins.

The result is a more energizing, compassionate approach to business promotion that keeps her integrity intact and reduces the stress of marketing in a complex digital landscape. Her story offers a refreshing perspective for entrepreneurs struggling to make their voice heard amid the constant barrage of online noise.

I’ll let Yat-Yee take it from here.

Owning a small business today requires an entrepreneur to do so much more besides the core business. A friend of mine dubs himself “Hats”, as in the wearer of all of them. My preferred term is Chief Dragon.

I knew this from the piano-teaching business I owned in the nineties, yet I was still surprised by how different it is to do business today, especially in the sales and marketing space, how much noisier it has become. 

To be heard above the barrage of information thrown incessantly at audiences: offers, scams, truths, lies, slime, threats, hypes, value, over-promises, ads disguised as reviews, has become the bane of my business existence, eating up my bandwidth.

And made me grumpy. A grumpy entrepreneur is not good for anything, not the business, clients, my family, and certainly not my well being

Thus began my de-grumping quest. 

One thing emerged from this (still ongoing) journey: a mindset shift. {Jade: I love the idea of mindsets but I am also very over its overuse. You can keep it or use “a change in perspective.”]

Instead of feeling unmoored by decisions on how to present my business to the public, I now guide them using the same principles that have served me well in my 30+ years of teaching career:

a teacher's goal is to facilitate discovery and to earn trust by communicating effectively. 

Facilitating discovery

Passing on information is not what teachers do. It wasn’t even when knowledge was less easily available and it is certainly not true today. 

What do teachers do? We

• filter, validate, and sequence content

• present it 

• observe how each student learns

• find ways to lead them beyond rote-learning to experiencing, investigating, comparing, puzzling over, struggling with, and finally understanding and generalizing what they learn. 

It is not a straightforward path. And it’s different in every single teaching interaction. A teacher’s mind constantly taking in information from the responses of students as a basis to diagnose, spot holes, determine readiness, sense teachability, examine our own understanding, and then figure out a hierarchy of importance for what we can do, cut out, add, so that we re-present in a more effective way. 

This is the process that drives teachers. This is what we love and thrive on. This is what convinces us that we are doing necessary work.

How does this translate to marketing and sales

At the very least, it changes a set of tasks that used to zap energy to one that energizes.

Second, it brings my teacher’s heart to the fore, a heart that has much more patience and compassion than that of someone who is annoyed and sickened by phishing threats, spam, and bots set up by geniuses who think this type of automation is how to get to potential clients. 

Third, I am better able to trust the process instead of feeling frustrated by not knowing how a particular ad campaign is doing. Teaching has taught me that what I do today may not yield recognizable results right away, or ever. I am not worried. 

By applying this attitude to marketing, I remind myself that my job is to help the world, or at least my target audience, discover what Axon Martial Arts Academy is. I can be patient and  be assured that what message I send out doesn't have to do the job of selling all by themselves, but would connect with others to create a picture that tells the right story.

Granted, this process is different in that there is no immediate feedback and therefore not always possible to determine how well messages have come through. But this is not an insurmountable problem. It requires my teacher-brain to tackle it the same way it has tackled other problems over the last 30 years.

Earning Trust

When a student starts with a new teacher, there is a level of implicit trust in that decision. 

Trust, however, is not a static thing. If the teacher doesn’t live up to this trust by their actions, such as 

• showing disinterest, 

• using disrespectful language and actions, 

• being inconsistent, 

• hiding ignorance behind jargon,

• being unwilling to be questioned, 

• resorting to defensiveness 

• refusing to take any stance except one of authority, trust evaporates. Sometimes very quickly. 

Earning and keeping a student’s trust takes a long time of consistent actions based on integrity, humility, and transparency. Unfortunately, it can be lost with just one misstep. That trust of my students and their families is a most cherished treasure, one I will not jeopardize because without trust, learning cannot take place. 

How does this shift in perspective help in sales and marketing?

When it comes to the effectiveness of our marketing, metrics such as the number of impressions and amount of engagement can have a powerful effect on a business owner. 

But if they become the primary objective, there is a temptation, at least for me, to start adopting strategies, or even phrases, that have been “proven successful” in the industry.

Of course, I want my messages to be well received. The fact that these “proven to work” messages may or may not being authentic can be drowned out by such justifications as “it’s a means to an end” or “nobody takes it seriously anyway” or “ you need those keywords with long tails”.

I don’t believe I have compromised my integrity but I will say that constant weighing of decisions is one of the biggest energy- drain.  By using “earning trust” as my North Star, I am reclaiming the mental energy and well-being. 

Viewing sales and marketing as extensions of my core business of teaching instead of separate tasks that compete for my mental resources is giving me more enthusiasm and definitely much less grumpiness. 

Yat-Yee Chong brings her teacher-heart and -mind to teaching piano, percussion, pedagogy, Chinese calligraphy, or martial arts. Find out how learning martial arts in small groups taught by a  devoted and experienced teacher can make a big impact in your life. 

Connect with Yat-Yee
www.axontkd.com

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Finding Connection Through Pain: A Guest Post by Katy Owens

In case you haven’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network of business owners I’ve built who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

The post touches on something that rarely gets discussed in the social media space: how we build meaningful connections online when physical presence isn't always possible. I'm honored to share this powerful piece from Katy Owens, of Empowered Path Occupational Therapy who opens up about navigating social media and community-building while living with chronic pain.

What drew me to Katy's story was her refreshingly honest take on social media's original purpose - connection - and how we can reclaim that intention for ourselves. In a world of highlight reels and perfect feeds, Katy reminds us that there's immense value in sharing our authentic experiences, even (or especially) when they're messy.

As someone who believes in the power of intentional social media use, I appreciate how Katy offers practical wisdom for creating what she calls a "social media sanctuary." Her insights about curating our online spaces aren't just for those living with chronic pain – they're valuable for anyone seeking more meaningful digital connections.

I'll let Katy take it from here. I think you'll find her perspective both challenging and inspiring.

Over to Katy...

Chronic pain sucks. And if you are someone who lives with chronic pain, or know someone who does, you may know that it sucks in so many ways and is unique to each person. Today I want to talk about how chronic pain can lead to feeling isolated and cut off from your social support.

Unfortunately, living with chronic pain can lead to social isolation because of the unpredictable nature of pain flares. Maybe you were invited out to a new brewery with your friends, but alcohol might cause a flare, or they might not have comfortable seating, or it could be really loud inside or a dozen other things. So instead of spending important time with friends, you say no, or cancel at the last minute because the stress and anxiety of the event is not worth the potential social benefits.

As you cancel more and more social invitations, maybe you stop getting the invitation. This can ultimately cause spiraling into depression, as you might look up one day to realize your friend group is nonexistent.

I’ve been in this situation and found respite in social media. When we think about the origins of the various platforms, it’s crucial to remember that the original goal was connection. Where did that go? It’s almost been entirely lost to influencers, AI generated images, restock videos, and obnoxious product placement.

What we don’t often see is the Behind the Scenes of social media, instead we spend hours comparing ourselves to the highlight reel of others. But I’m here for the bloopers. It’s okay to be messy, and sad, and less than perfect. When I was seeking community on social media, I started by curating my feed. Who were the people or organizations I was following, and WHY was I following them? When I read their posts or watched their videos, how did that make me feel? I started unfollowing and unfriending any person or profile that made me feel less than, and instead sought people who were at minimum broadcasting content that was realistic, inspirational without toxic positivity, and resonated with my lived experience. What I was left with was a feed full of seemingly authentic humans with relatable life experiences, and thoughts and feelings that feel genuine. It’s not perfect, and it’s always evolving as I evolve as a person.

There is a ommunity out there for you, whether you also live with chronic pain or are just looking for a group of people who love soup as much as you do. And if you need it: I give you permission to unfriend, unfollow, curate and customize your feed. It’s *your* space, after All!

I have a favorite quotation from Marianne Williamson that is a constant inspiration for the space that I aim to create on social media, for myself and others: “…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Never be afraid to show the world who you are. Create your own social media sanctuary if you must, and curate your feed so you’re inspired by people doing the same. Even if we live with chronic pain and are still finding ways to get back out into the real world for real life connection with friends new or old, we can still engage in meaningful connection right here on the internet.

I, for one, can’t wait to meet you. Let’s make this space beautiful.

About Katy

I work as an acute care occupational therapist in Northern Colorado and also own an occupational therapy private practice specializing in pain management. I earned my Master’s in Occupational Therapy from Colorado State University, where I was honored to receive the distinction of Outstanding Grad Student of the Class of 2022 from the College of Health and Human Services.

Before starting my career as an occupational therapist, I served in the United States Coast Guard. An injury and my subsequent rehabilitation sparked my interest in occupational therapy and fueled my passion for advocating a biopsychosocial approach to pain management combined with an occupation-based approach.

I had the opportunity to present at the Colorado State Association Annual Conference in both 2023 and 2024. I was also selected from a wide pool of applicants to speak at the UCHealth 2024 Symposium, where I shared with fellow therapy practitioners and other medical professionals the value of OT in pain management and the biopsychosocial model of pain.

Connect With Katy:

www.empoweredpathot.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katy-owens-ot/

When Vulnerability Becomes Your Superpower: A Guest Post by Chrysta Bairre

In case you aren’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network I have of business owners who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

I am thrilled to share today's guest post from Chrysta Bairre, a voice that resonates deeply and aligns with what I believe about authentic leadership and social media presence. When Chrysta first shared this piece with me, I found myself nodding along with every word.

As someone who navigates for herself and others the complex balance of being professional while being real online, Chrysta’s message about the power of showing up authentically hit home.

Chrysta's journey from trying to maintain a "perfect" image to embracing her whole story mirrors what so many of us experience as business owners and content creators. As the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member women's leadership community, and author of "Beautiful Badass," Chrysta brings a unique perspective on how vulnerability can become your greatest strength in building genuine connections online.

I'll let Chrysta take it from here – and I encourage you to read all the way through. Her insights about the difference between sharing wounds and sharing journeys might just change how you think about your own social media presence.

Over to Chrysta...

My highest engagement as a business owner has consistently come from sharing my most vulnerable moments.

When I launched my career coaching and speaking business, a colleague and friend advised me to "show them your scars, not your wounds". She explained that to build my credibility, I needed to share about my challenges only once I had "figured out" how to overcome them, so I tried my best to put on my "perfect” on social media face. But I'm not perfect on social media or in life. I don't think I've had one single day of having my shit completely together. Maybe I have my shit 50% together. Or maybe 80% together. Or maybe 23% percent together. And that's real life. 

I wondered how I could show up as the face of my business and be “perfectly” fallible human in the process. Not long after I was invited to share my personal story at a mental health awareness event, and my business mentor told me not to do it. I felt so strongly that sharing stories of mental health is important for humanity, so I told my story and waited for the backlash my mentor said would come.

It never came.

Instead, people reached out and told me how much they were moved by my authenticity, and I even got a few career coaching clients from the opportunity! It turns out my vulnerability made them feel more comfortable sharing vulnerably with me.

After that speaking opportunity, I began to share more openly about my struggles on social media, in my newsletters, and on stage. I shared about personal and business struggles, and my people found me. Today I think of it less as “showing my wounds”, and more as showing my journey, and the stops along the way.

---

Chrysta Bairre is an advocate for herself and others. As a child she grew up in poverty, surrounded by family members with mental illness and addiction, while her own non-apparent disability went unrecognized and undiagnosed. A queer woman with several disabilities, she fought to get the help and support she needed to thrive, and became a voice for unseen and under-served people like herself.

Today, Chrysta is a career coach and professional speaker, helping women increase their income and impact through valuing their own inherent worth, setting boundaries and saying no in business, and advocating for themselves. She engages and inspires on stage, speaking to employees on banishing burnout, overcoming impostor syndrome, and workplace mental health.

Chrysta is also the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member introvert and neurodivergent-friendly women’s leadership community in Northern Colorado. She Goes High hosts more than 30 events per year to support women leaders in taking up their space in the world and leaving their legacy!

Her first book, Beautiful Badass: How to Believe in Yourself Against the Odds, shares stories and lessons from overcoming poverty and depression in this guide for women who want to take command of their destinies and no longer fall prey to the hardships and setbacks that previously defined them. She is currently writing her next book on the topic of asking for help.

Connect with Chrysta:

Website: https://liveandlovework.com/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrystabairre/

From Invisible to Influential: Overcoming Your Social Media Resistance

When I first meet to consult with somebody, the conversation usually follows the same cadence: They introduce themselves and immediately tell me, "I hate social media."

And they are usually very emotional when they tell me that. 

But what I hear when they say that is, "I don't want to be seen." 

There is just so much resistance in that one statement, "I hate social media."

Resistance to being fully seen. 

I understand the resistance because there's a level of vulnerability when you show up and put yourself out there.  We all have many feelings about being vulnerable, especially during this time of society, because, in the times that we are living in right now, people are concerned that anything that they say can and will be taken the wrong way. Clips can be broken out of context and put out there independently. Some feel that there's always an underlying possibility of being canceled or, even worse, someone not liking you. 

If any of that resonates with you, then you need to keep reading. 

I'm a recovering people-pleaser who has worked long and hard to become OK with people not liking me. If you're an entrepreneur or a business owner, you've absolutely got to get to a point where you are OK with not being liked. Because, spoiler alert, not everyone will like you, just like you do not like everyone you come across. 

Don't deny it; there are some people that you do not like.

You can tell yourself every day how you hate social media and how your business can survive and thrive without it, but you're lying to yourself.

Social media isn't going anywhere.

No matter how much you resist it- it's here to stay. 

Social Media is one of the greatest tools for reaching the masses, but you want to blend in with them.

I'm not sorry to be the one to tell you that if you want to grow something, this business, or this idea that popped into your head, you've got to figure out how to stand out and show up from the masses. Some days, you might be met with pushback, negative comments, or challenging your idea comments. But the beautiful thing is that there is an entirely opposite side of the negative, and that's positive.  

So.

Let's flip the script for a moment. When you say, "I hate social media," you're probably picturing an endless stream of selfies and humble brags. But what if we looked at it differently—How can you do social media things differently?

Whenever you share your expertise on social media, you're serving someone who needs your help. Think about it - that quick tip you shared about your area of expertise might be exactly what someone needed to hear when they saw it. Your knowledge, earned through years of experience, could solve someone's problem they've been struggling with for months.

Over here, we're now refocusing from constantly selling to helping and being of service to anyone who comes in contact with our content.

Here's what service-focused social media actually looks like:

• When you share your behind-the-scenes process, you're demystifying your industry for someone who's feeling overwhelmed.

• That "simple" insight you almost didn't post because it felt "too basic"? It might be the breakthrough moment for someone just starting out.

• Your story about overcoming a business challenge could give someone else the courage to keep going.

And here's the beautiful irony—when you focus on serving rather than selling, sales often follow naturally. People aren't just buying your product or service; they're buying into your approach, your values, and your way of solving problems.

Let's be real about authenticity. We're all SO over the perfectly curated feeds and the "everything is awesome" narrative. Your audience isn't looking for perfection; they're looking for someone who gets them. Your vulnerability isn't a weakness—it's your superpower.

When you show up as yourself:

• You attract the right people - the ones who resonate with your real personality and values

• You build genuine trust because people can sense when someone is being real

• You save energy because you're not maintaining a manufactured image

• You create deeper connections because people relate to human experiences, not polished performances

Remember that post that made you nervous to share because it felt too personal? Those are often the posts that get the most meaningful engagement. Why? Because they show others that they are not alone in their struggles or experiences.

And here's something nobody tells you about authenticity - it's actually a filter. When you show up as yourself, you naturally repel the clients who wouldn't be a good fit anyway. That's not a bug; it's a feature. It's better to attract the right people than to weakly attract everyone strongly.

So instead of asking, "What will people think if I post this?" try asking:

• "Who might this help today?"

• "What problem could this solve for someone?"

• "What would I have needed to hear when starting?"

• "How can my experience make someone else's journey easier?"

Think of social media as your digital mentorship platform. Every post is an opportunity to extend a helping hand to someone who's where you once were. That's not self-promotion - that's service.

Since we are in business to make money, throw in a selling post occasionally, like subscribe to my email for more insider tips, or book a 30-minute session, whatever the call to action you want to achieve. 

And here's how we're going to do that. Now that we've talked about why visibility matters, let's get practical. I'm going to give you a gentle on-ramp to showing up online—no dancing or viral challenges required because we're also over those. 

🎯 The 5-Day Visibility Starter Challenge

Day 1: Introduction Post

• Share your professional "origin story" - what led you to this work?

• Include a recent photo of you in your workspace or with a client (with permission)

• End with a question inviting others to share their story

Day 2: Behind-the-Scenes

• Show a glimpse of your daily routine or process

• Could be as simple as your morning coffee and planning routine

• Share one tool or technique that makes your work possible

Day 3: Client Win (anonymized)

• Share a success story (with permission)

• Focus on the transformation or solution

• Include the lesson you learned from this experience

Day 4: Quick Tip

• Share your most basic but valuable piece of advice

• Something you do automatically, but others might not know

• Make it actionable in 5 minutes or less

Day 5: Personal Value

• Share one belief you have about your industry

• Explain why this matters to you and your clients

• Invite discussion about different perspectives

Look, I get it. The resistance to being visible isn't going to disappear overnight magically. But here's what I know for sure: on the other side of that resistance is everything you want for your business.

Every successful business owner I've worked with has had to face this same fear. The difference isn't that they're fearless – it's that they chose to take action despite the fear. They started small, stayed consistent, and built their confidence one post at a time.

You don't have to become a social media influencer or create viral content. You just need to be visible enough that the right people can find you. Think of it this way: every time you don't show up, someone who needs your expertise misses out on finding you.

Here's your permission slip to:

• Start messy

• Be imperfect

• Share what you know

• Take up space

• Help people find you

At the end of the day, "I hate social media" is just another way of saying, "I'm afraid to be seen." And you, with all your expertise, experience, and ability to help others, deserve to be seen.

Your first step doesn't have to be big. It just has to be a step.

Pick one platform. Choose one template from above. Make one post this week.

That's it. That's how it starts.

If you need support along the way, I'm here to help you navigate this journey. The world needs what only you can offer—but first, they need to know you exist.

Ready to take that first step? Let me know which platform you're choosing to focus on, or reach out if you need help crafting your visibility strategy.

Remember: Your business exists to serve others. Don't let your fear of being seen keep you from serving the people who need you most.

Why Social Media Works Best As Part Of Your Complete Marketing Strategy (And What Else You Need)

Let's face it—social media is fantastical. If I felt otherwise, I wouldn't have been in this space since Blockbuster still existed.

Yeah, sure, there are some downsides, like misinformation and negativity, and most of it's fake. But you're here, and know that together, we pinky promised that with each and every post, we are going to change what we can.

Didn't know you pinky promised, it was implied the second you landed here. :)

With millions of active users across platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, it's no wonder you, as a business owner, are drawn to these channels like a moth to a flame. The allure of instant reach, viral potential, and direct customer engagement is undeniable. But here's the truth: it's like shouting into a void and putting all your marketing eggs in the social media basket, which is a risky game to play.

I've run into a bunch of businesses who have inspired this post that they put their entire marketing budget into social. And I'm here to clarify that social media is NOT the only way to market your business; instead, it is part of a functioning marketing family of your business.

Is me writing this career suicide- my gut says no.

Social media deserves a place in your marketing mix because it offers unique advantages that other channels can't match:

• Real-time engagement with your audience

• Cost-effective reach compared to traditional advertising

• Powerful targeting options

• Instant feedback on your products and services

• Ability to build community around your brand

But here's where things get tricky.

Imagine building your entire business on rented land. That's essentially what you're doing when you rely solely on social media. You do not own any of the stuff on social media —don't believe me; peruse the terms and conditions I know you didn't read. Also, at any time, CEOs of any of these platforms could decide to pull the plug on the servers running these digital worlds, and then what?

Consider these scenarios:

• Instagram changes its algorithm, and your posts suddenly reach only 10% of your followers (Current situation)

• Facebook updates its policies, restricting how you can advertise (Regulated Industries know)

• Twitter (now X) implements new fees or limitations

• Your account gets temporarily suspended due to a misunderstanding (Yikes)

These aren't hypothetical situations—they happen regularly to businesses of all sizes, and I've been a part of a few.

Here's the thing: diversity is always your friend, no matter what.

Smart businesses diversify their marketing across multiple channels. Here's where you could consider expanding outside of social:

1. Email Marketing Still the king of ROI, email marketing gives you direct access to your audience without algorithmic interference. You OWN your email list - no platform can take that away from you. Plus, email consistently outperforms social media in conversion rates when you use social to build your email list.

2. Content Marketing and SEO Creating valuable content for your website builds long-term organic traffic. Unlike social posts that disappear in the feed, good content can drive traffic for years. I back-linked a blog from two years ago because situations like that still happen.

Focus on:

• Blog posts solving customer problems

• How-to guides and tutorials

• Industry insights and analysis

• Case studies and success stories

Don't dismiss "old school" 1900 marketing methods - they still work:

• Local advertising

• Print materials

• Direct mail

• Industry events and trade shows

• Speaking engagements

• In-person networking groups

Some of them work better for your specific business than others so be aware of that.

Here's the thing: your marketing needs to work together like a functioning family. They need to work together, not in isolation. We might not live in a functioning family, but we've all seen one on TV.

Here's how to start:

1. Audit Your Current Mix

• What percentage of your marketing effort goes to each channel?

• Which channels drive the most valuable results?

• Where are you most vulnerable to external changes?

• Which channel do you even like hanging out on?

2. Set Channel-Specific Goals

• Social media: Brand awareness and community building

• Email: Nurturing leads and driving sales

• Content: Establishing authority and driving organic traffic

• Networking: Reaching local or industry-specific audiences

3. Create Cross-Channel Synergy

• Use social media to grow your email list

• Share blog content across all channels

• Convert in-person connections to online followers by following them and commenting!

• Repurpose content across platforms

4. Most importantly, track, adjust, and monitor the performance of each channel and be ready to adjust your strategy. What works today might not work tomorrow.

Social media is a powerful tool, but it's just one tool in your marketing toolbox. Building a sustainable business means creating a marketing strategy that doesn't depend on any single channel. Start diversifying today - your future self will thank you.

Remember: Marketing success isn't about being everywhere - it's about being in the right places with the right message for your community.

And if you need help determining where or how to show up for your community, let's chat.

Taking Control of Your Digital Home: Why It's Okay to Curate Your Social Media Connections

Over coffee the other day during a one-on-one LinkedIn zhoosh session, the client asked me if they need to accept every LinkedIn or personal Facebook Friend request they get- does it make them look bad?

I immediately answered "No".

In case you need a reminder today, no is a full sentence.

Here's the thing: Your profiles are like your little house on the vast world wide web. Whichever platform you like to hang out on is best—well, that's your primary residence. The one you like to hang out on after that one—well, that's like your weekend home. And maybe you have a third platform: your summer/winter house. 

Whatever you want to name them, your screenname is the name of your house on the internet. You can do whatever (within the boundaries of the platform's terms and conditions) and let whoever you want into your house.

Let's visualize for a moment your real house; you don't invite just anyone over, do you? 

No, you invite over people you have probably hung out with in public before a few times and have gotten to know them. Then you invite them over.

Your online residences are allowed to have the same credentials.

(read that again until it clicks)

After we said goodbye, I sat with what I had said for a minute. Then I looked at my Facebook "friends" and, with a quick scroll, realized there was a handful right off the bat that I had met years ago once at a networking event. But still, every time I tapped in, I would see life events from them in my face, which meant if they hadn't muted me, then they could see life events about me. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Enter a weekend afternoon when I decided to take back control of my "house" and who was invited into it. 

The first thing I did was go through and sort out all of the business colleagues I had networked with, and I found them on the appropriate professional channels. Were we connected on LinkedIn? Was I still following their business page on Instagram? Did I want to subscribe to their email marketing?

Those were the easy ones.

Then it came to the people who didn't fit into the colleague, people I knew IRL, or family. I asked myself this question: would I invite this person into my real house, or would I only meet them publicly for coffee or lunch?  If the answer to those questions was yes, I would have found them on some other professional platform. 

What has happened over the years is that when I meet someone at a networking event and exchange cards and information with them, a few days later, I receive a friend request from them on my private Facebook. Not that they have followed me on my public professional LinkedIn network or my public professional Instagram; no, they go right for asking to be friends on my private Facebook. 

And at some point in this whole working on social media, I stopped accepting friend requests from one-off meetings of people and, over the years, have drafted a response that I message to most of these "friend" requests that are instead "strangers" wanting to connect professionally 

"Hi! Thank you for your friend request. However, I keep this platform for family and close friends. I would love to connect with you professionally on LinkedIn or my business Instagram page."

Because if your accounts are private and someone you've met once at a networking event requests to be friends, it's basically like an essential stranger inviting themselves into your house. 

And you don't have to let them in.

That weekend afternoon, I spent unfriending and re-following on professional platforms. It felt weird. The people-pleaser in me was screaming, "What are you doing?!! We're not going to have any friends."

But this current me and the woman I'm becoming responded back in my brain, "I just don't need to see, experience the energy, and be shouted at of some "strangers" kids' milestones or hear about their sisters' cancer or how they're fighting with their HOA, and I especially do not need a play-by-play of where they are at politically and what they think of others who don't think like them—And still never hear anything about their business."

That is the entire reason I accepted the connection, to begin with.

I met them years ago at an hour-long after-hours networking event. We sipped cocktails together, but I can't even remember if we connected one-on-one afterward to discuss what their business actually was. 

So I whittled my personal Facebook following down to clients, people I know IRL who have my phone number and my family. 

The world is SO noisy- and it's only getting louder.

If it's becoming too noisy in one of your houses, consider this your permission slip to unfriend and unfollow or at least mute and restore some peace and quiet to your feed.

People you are meant to meet and do business with will not miss you, if the connection is really supposed to happen it will happen someplace.

You do not have to accept every request that hits your inbox. If people get upset that you unfriended them and they don't have a conversation with you about it over text message or email, then are you even really connected?

If you are on the road to being a recovering people pleaser as I am here are a few tips to work through the weird overwhelm that will creep in:

1. Start small: Begin with a few accounts or connections that you're sure about. This can help build confidence.

2. Remember it's normal: Many people curate their social media. It's a common and healthy practice.

3. Use platform features: Utilize options like "Unfollow" or "Mute" on Facebook, which allow you to reduce content from certain connections without unfriending.

4. Set clear boundaries: Craft a polite message template, use mine as an example if you want to respond to connection requests from people you don't know well.

5. Focus on YOUR well-being: Remind yourself that this is about creating a positive online environment.

6. Be consistent: Apply your new approach consistently to avoid feeling like you're singling anyone out.

7. Prepare for questions: Have a simple, honest explanation ready if anyone asks why you've disconnected.

8. Privacy settings: Review and adjust your privacy settings to control who sees what on your profile.

9. Separate personal and professional: Consider using different platforms for personal and professional networking.

10. Take breaks: If the process feels overwhelming, it's okay to take breaks and come back to it later.

Remember, it's your digital space, and you have the right to make it comfortable for yourself. Taking control of your online environment can lead to a more positive social media experience.

Fall Tradition Fail: Why Accurate Business Hours Matter

This time of year is a favorite for me because it means that it's time for my yearly friend date tradition of breakfast burritos and pumpkin lattes at the pumpkin patch!

For the past four years, I have cleared out the back of my car and set a tarp or blanket down for this annual morning tradition. I pick up the breakfast burritos and then go pick up my friend just as the pumpkin patch opens for the day. I grab my yearly pumpkin spice latte, and we find a spot to eat our breakfast burritos and catch up on what happened with each other over the week. 

Then, we each get a wheel barrel, and we proceeded to get all the pumpkin things for our porches.

It's all very magical.

Except this year, we ran into some glitches.

We went on the Monday after opening weekend this year (we've never gone on a Monday before), and we already knew that the coffee cart wouldn't be there, so we had a plan in place for that.

However, I did my due diligence and checked to make sure that the burrito place would be open on Monday for our sustenance. According to their Google Business page, it was, in fact, going to be open—words my eyes love to read.

Until… I got to the burrito place's parking lot, and there was a handwritten note on it saying they were now closed on Mondays for the foreseeable future.

Uh…. that sucks.

Even though I have NO idea if that Monday was the first or the 50th day that handwitten sign was up up as usual, my business mishaps have become lessons that I will pass along to you. 

Let this serve as your reminder that if you have changed your hours for the season, make sure that your Google My Business Page is up to date, as are the operating hours on your website and social media pages. 

I walked back to my car annoyed, disappointed, and hungry, and I don't want that to happen to the members of your community. 

The greatest public relations service you can do for your community is effectively communicating your hours.

Closing early or opening late because of life- post on social media.  Not going to be open certain dates- send your community an email and update your social media. 

But something as permanent as changing your hours even if it's for the "foresseable future" needs a login in and an update on your Google Biz Page and Website as well as social posts. 

How do you feel when you see something is going to be open on Google and then you get there and it's not?

Here are some additional PR tips:

1. Set up Google Alerts for your business: This will notify you when your business is mentioned online, including any updates or changes to your Google Business profile.

2. Implement a regular schedule for reviewing online information: Set a monthly or quarterly reminder to check all your online listings, not just Google Business.

3. Use social media for immediate updates: While updating official listings is crucial, use social media platforms to quickly communicate temporary changes or unexpected closures.

4. Train staff on the importance of accurate information: Ensure all employees understand the impact of outdated information and know how to report any changes.

5. Create a system for managing seasonal changes: If your business has regular seasonal changes, create a checklist for updating all necessary platforms when these changes occur.

6. Respond to customer feedback: If a customer mentions being inconvenienced by incorrect information, respond promptly and address the issue.

7. Use physical signage effectively: While online updates are crucial, don't neglect clear, visible signage at your physical location for last-minute changes.

8. Maintain consistency across all platforms: Ensure your hours, contact information, and other details are consistent across your website, social media, and business listings.

From Sports Bar to Marketing Success: Why You Need To Practice Patience & Consistency

As some of you know, I am an avid football fan. I grew up not that far away from Titletown, USA, and so the green and gold have been in my blood since birth. One of the things about following the Green and Gold is that most games are "out of market" unless they are a Thursday, Monday, or Sunday night game. And when those are the weeks, it means that I need to find a sports bar to watch the games.

Luckily, being a fan of Green and Gold, bars are dedicated solely to their games. But some Sundays, I decide to go to establishments with other friends where the Green and Gold is not the only one of the TVs but is not where this story takes place. I swear it has something to do with business, so please keep reading through all the boring sports stuff. 

I met a friend who is a fan of the blue and orange. Their team played at the same time as mine, so we went to one of the chain sports bars to watch the game and sat at the bar. They sat on one side of me, and on the other side of me, another fan of the blue and orange. This particular fan really enjoyed making comments about the way the players were playing.

Actually, one of my favorite parts about going to sports bars for the game is hearing the side commentary from people as they consume beer and wings and couch coach from afar. 

But anyway, this fan was making comments about the rookie quarterback that the blue and orange have. This kid is fresh out of college, and it's only week 4 in the professional football world. And if you didn't know the thing about fans: They want their team to win the championship. They want their team to be the last team standing with the ring on their finger.  

(This is a great analogy for how our society overall is right now IMO. Swiping and replacing quickly when things aren’t working out.)

The quarterback kept missing throws, and the fan next to me kept commenting on them. "Get him out of there!" "Put in the backup!" "This guy sucks!" "Why are you having him throw the ball?!" He also had things to say about the other quarterback, who happens to be the oldest in the league, because at one point, they were winning "Old & Slow" "Retire already!"  The fan next to me was 2.5 beers and half a pound of wings in at this point.

As the games went to commercial, it suddenly hit me that we do the same things as business owners when it comes to marketing and social media.

When we try one way of doing something but see that someone else might be having "success" with how they are doing things, sometimes business owners give into that little voice that says all the same things that fan was saying to his football team and change things up. And then that, too, doesn't even work sometimes. 

As I listened to the fan, I kept wondering where the patience was.

The two things that the fan and you, as a business owner, need in this game of life are patience and consistency. 

It's week four of the football season. These fans definitely need to calm down and find some patience because there is a lot of football left. This rookie needs the consistency of taking snaps and being put in game-day situations to grow and evolve into the player the team obviously believes he can be; otherwise, they wouldn't have drafted him. 

As a business owner, you've got to consistently show up in your marketing efforts. Whether that's the networking circuit, social media platforms, email, or whatever your marking method of choice is, you've got to keep showing up. I can honestly report that the majority of business accounts I follow only show up on social media or in my inbox when they are having a sale or an event, and people are tired of constantly being sold to. 

Marketing is all about emotions and creating connections. Every week, I show up here and in subscribers' inboxes, and there are some weeks when I totally don't want to. There are times when I don't want to post to my personal feeds because I feel like no one is seeing it. But I do because checking in with your community consistently and then one day asking for the sale is the way to convert in this day and age. 

If you constantly try to sell things to people, you aren't selling anything to people. 

Marketing, like having a rookie for your QB, takes both patience and consistency. 

Look back at your business analytics and feed, assess what is working and what isn't, and make sure you do more of what IS working.

Even if you’ve been doing marketing for a while try the "Rookie Mindset": Just like a rookie quarterback needs time to develop, give your marketing strategies time to mature and show results.

1. Maintain Consistency in Your Marketing Efforts: Show up regularly on your chosen platforms, whether it's social media, email marketing, or networking events.

2. Avoid Constant Sales Pitches: Focus on creating connections and providing value rather than always trying to sell something.

3. Analyze Your Performance: Regularly review your business analytics to understand what's working and what isn't.

4. Double Down on What Works: Once you identify successful strategies, invest more time and resources into them.

5. Practice Patience: Remember that building a strong marketing presence takes time. Don't give up too quickly on your strategies.

6. Balance Emotion and Strategy: While marketing is about creating emotional connections, make sure to back it up with consistent, strategic actions.

7. Diversify Your Marketing Channels: Like a good football team needs both offense and defense, use a mix of marketing methods to reach your audience.

8. Learn from "Game Day" Situations: Use real-world interactions and feedback to improve your marketing approach.

9. Build Community Engagement: Regularly check in with your audience without always expecting immediate returns.

8 Surprising Marketing Lessons from Emily in Paris: Social Media Strategies Unveiled

Emily Cooper, the bubbly American transplant in the hit show "Emily in Paris," may not always get it right. Still, her marketing adventures offer some surprisingly relevant lessons for today's digital marketers. To uncover valuable takeaways, let's binge on the world of fashion, baguettes, and brand strategies.

1. Embrace Cultural Sensitivity

Lesson: Understanding and respecting local culture is crucial in global marketing.

Emily's faux pas teaches us the importance of cultural awareness. Remember the "sexy" perfume ad debacle? While her American perspective saw empowerment, the French audience saw objectification. This mishap highlights the need for thorough market research and cultural understanding before launching campaigns in new territories.

2. The Power of Influencer Marketing

Lesson: Influencer partnerships can significantly boost brand visibility.

Emily's collaboration with various influencers, from fashion icons to up-and-coming artists, showcases the potential of influencer marketing—however, the show glosses over the complexities of these partnerships. Successful influencer campaigns require careful vetting, clear agreements, and authentic alignment with brand values.

3. Adaptability is Key

Lesson: Be ready to pivot and think on your feet.

Whether it's turning a wardrobe malfunction into a viral moment or repurposing a champagne spray as a product launch, Emily's quick thinking demonstrates the importance of adaptability in marketing. In the fast-paced world of social media, capitalizing on unexpected opportunities can lead to standout campaigns.

4. Content is Queen (or King)

Lesson: Engaging, visually appealing content is crucial for social media success.

Emily's knack for creating Instagram-worthy moments reminds us of the power of compelling visual content. While the show may exaggerate the ease of going viral, it correctly emphasizes the importance of eye-catching, shareable content in building brand awareness and engagement.

5. Network, Network, Network

Lesson: Building relationships is fundamental to marketing success.

Emily's ability to forge connections at every turn, from chance encounters to lavish events, underscores the value of networking in the marketing world. These relationships often lead to collaborative opportunities and new client acquisitions.

6. Creativity Counts

Lesson: Innovative ideas can set your brand apart.

From the "Paris of Life" campaign to the impromptu McBaguette pitch, Emily's creative approaches remind us that thinking outside the box can lead to memorable marketing moments. While not every wild idea will work in reality, fostering a culture of creativity is essential for standing out in a crowded market.

7. Balance Data with Intuition

Lesson: While the show often overlooks it, successful marketing combines creativity with data-driven decisions.

Emily's reliance on instinct makes for good TV, but in the real world, marketers need to balance creative hunches with solid analytics. The show could benefit from showing more behind-the-scenes work, such as data analysis, A/B testing, and performance tracking, that inform successful campaigns.

8. The Client Isn't Always Right (But Tact is Essential)

Lesson: Sometimes, challenging a client's vision is necessary but requires diplomacy.

Though often unrealistically successful, Emily's boldness in presenting alternative ideas to clients is admirable. In practice, navigating client relationships requires a delicate balance of assertiveness and tact. Presenting data-backed alternatives and fostering open dialogue are key to steering clients toward effective strategies.

While "Emily in Paris" may paint a glamorized picture of the marketing world, it does capture some fundamental truths about this industry. The key is to take these lessons with a grain of salt (or a bite of croissant) and apply them thoughtfully to real-world scenarios.

Remember, behind every seemingly effortless social media success is a team of professionals working tirelessly on strategy, execution, and analysis. So, channel your inner Emily for creativity and enthusiasm. Don't forget to ground your campaigns in solid marketing principles and data-driven insights.

Who's ready to say "Oui" to inspired marketing strategies? But let's leave the berets at home.

How to Stop Taking Social Media So Seriously and Add More Joy to Your Content: A Fresh Perspective on Content Creation

In case you didn't know, I'm an avid meditator. It's part of my morning routine. I get on the floor and meditate for as long as my body and mind need it—sometimes it's 10 minutes, and sometimes it's an hour. Sometimes, I choose a guided meditation; sometimes, there's nothing. 

After one of these morning sessions, I came up with the concept of what if I stopped taking everything that isn't serious SO seriously? For example, when random stuff pops into my feed for contests and stuff, what if I stopped overthinking, even entering the contest, and just entered the contest? Because entering the contest is not serious. 

It stopped me because EVERYTHING right now is SOOOO serious. The way someone parks their car- serious. The way someone looks at you across the street- serious. Getting the wrong coffee order-serious.

But in the long game of life, these things are NOT serious.

And then I got to thinking….

What if we all stopped taking social media SOOO seriously?  I get it. This might seem weird to a social media strategist and manager.

But hear me out. Social Media is a serious thing nowadays for brand recognition and staying top of mind. However, the content we put out there does not always need to be SO serious. It's like whenever I go to scroll, it's all so heavy and serious, and I'm getting on a feed to escape some of the heavy and serious.

It feels like next to no one is experiencing any joy anymore. 

Here are some facts:

There are three reasons why people use social apps like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. Do you know the number one reason?

The number one reason is to disassociate and to be entertained. The world out there is heavy right now, and people are tapping in and searching for dog videos, memes, or any other kind of entertainment that feeds their brains dopamine. 

When people scroll, a chemical is released in their brains, and they get a dopamine hit. Each like, comment, or new piece of content triggers a dopamine spike, and we all know how good a dopamine hit feels.

Number two, Connection and Community. The theory of social media is to keep people connected and feel a part of a community regardless of location. This is a whole topic for another day.

Number 3, Education & News.  Platforms are often used to stay informed about current events, trends, and topics of interest. 

But for today, we're going to focus on number one and why it's important: If you want to be scroll-stopped, you've got to stop taking everything so seriously. I know you're thinking about it.

When I meet to consult with business owners, we start discussing content ideas they have. After they told me their ideas, they said, "But no one is going to watch that or pay attention." OR they will show me the content they've created, and when I ask them why they haven't posted it yet, I'll get a because it's not perfect or articulated correctly.

The only person who knows your content isn't perfect is yourself. No one scrolling through will know that the font isn't the one you wanted or that the photo isn't exactly what you imagined in your head. 

My friends, this is being stuck in Analysis Paralysis, as Bob Proctor used to talk about. You're making excuses because it's scary to move forward. You're making this piece of content mean something SO serious. 

And here's the thing….

People casually follow 150 to 300 social media accounts, meaning a lot of content is being pumped out to them. Trust me when I say they definitely aren't going to notice if the small piece of content that you are putting out there isn't perfect in your brain. 

I know now this is the part where you're going to get defensive and tell me that big brands are only putting out serious, life-altering content. Now, I am going to show you this 2018 Twitter exchange between Burger King and Budweiser. 

I've been in this space a long time, and here's the thing: If you aren't having fun putting your content together, the person interacting with the content isn't having fun, either. Like energy attracts like energy. I'm challenging you to let loose on one piece of content, bring more joy to the noise of someone's scroll, and then let me know how that felt.